People are strange

Ok, so we’re into week 6 or 7, I think.

Recently, I have had the great privilege of hanging out with a few really, really cool people. This “hanging out” has occurred both on and off campus. And I am thrilled!

So far I have discovered 5 or so people that I absolutely adore; several more people that I am quite fond of and many others I look forward to knowing better. Even so, we’re still feeling each other out. Doing the dance!

Personalities are slowly coming into view. People are beginning to let their guard down and their idiosyncrasies are rearing their ugly heads. For example, I have been communicating loosely with this one particular person and I just can’t get a proper reading. There are moments when I feel like…

"Yay, cool. This person is SO completely awesome. I would LOVE to spend some good quality time with him/her."

But then, they do something weird or unexpected. Or perhaps, I say something and freak them out. I still haven’t figured this one out yet. And so, I am left wondering…Is it me? Is it them? What happened?

Regardless, I still want to be your friend. If something is weird, or I did or said something stupid please tell me. Communicate! I’m not judging you. And I hate thinking I’ve done something to put you off.

There’s a small group of us that are all from out of state. We’re in the same boat as far as not knowing much about Philly. Some have ventured more than others. More than I! Still, I suspect…and one or two have confirmed that it’s just LONELY!

Yes, lonely without that home support network to lean on. We’re all here as islands without those people who reared us or have watched us grow and prosper…our families, our best friends, the fun guys or girls we used to play Euchre with on Thursday nights. And all the phone calls in the world will not make up for that absence. I know. But...

If you’re lonely too, I implore you to give those of us that are here a try. It’s not a weakness to feel lonely or overwhelmed. Give someone a try. You just may find a new friend you can count on. Someone to hold or hug you when you need a kind touch. Someone to laugh with when, well, whenever!

I get this, people. I’m lonely too. There are 2 things, ok 3 things, you should know about me.

• I am super practical. Pragmatic even.
• You can say pretty much anything to me. And my response may be unexpected…in a good way, so try it.
• I only surround myself with really great people. So, if I’ve picked you…stop questioning yourself. Get to know me too. Spend time with me, please. I’m fun and can feel as equally awkward as you.

We’ll meddle our way through being homesick and lost in Philly together. I look forward to it!

PS Don’t be afraid to call me. I like voice conversations, not just texts.

On Death & Dying

So we have just finished our second set of exams for the term. We’ve spent numerous hours poking, prodding, and pontificating over various facets of our cadavers’ bodies.

We’re pretty much surrounded by death and decay most days, right?

You’d think the concept wouldn’t seem quite so foreign. In some ways, med school is a death of sorts. A death of a real social life for sure. A death of all the other career options or hobbies you might have otherwise pursued. Or wished you could, if only you had the time. And it’s a constant reminder that death is all around us.

I’ve learned at least five new ways to die since being here only a few weeks. Yet, still have not learned one skill to save anyone!

And then the announcement came…or rumor rather. It enters in and takes over the psyche!

It was reported today...

that one of the guys in the second year PA class was diagnosed with cancer. It’s true, we don’t yet know who it might be. But, there are only 7 guys in the class!

Even though I am not fully familiar with all the people in our own class quite yet, I have enough of a grasp of them and the sort of weird intimacy that comes from being in this kind of program….well, to not want something similar in our class.

It must be devastating. Like one of your own people, your own family, falling ill. Simply terrifying. To have it be in the other class seems sort of like that cousin you don’t see often getting cancer. You feel bad, sad even, but it’s a little bit removed. You’re glad it’s not you!

Now, paranoia sets in!

From other stories that have circulated already, I learned at least 3 D.O. students have been diagnosed with the big “C” in the past year. So should I be drinking the water at school? Is there something in the lab that’s more carcinogenic than reported? Where’s the MSDS’s? Are we being exposed to high level radio waves from the television stations next door? Again, I don’t know.

It seems like death or the possibility of it, becomes so much more a part of your mindset here. No worries though. I have no plans on going anywhere. It’s not my time yet.

Philly Chronicles...Part I

6/14/09
Week 1 Complete!

So med school isn’t so bad…Sure it’s already fraught with insecurity, frustration, and the constant feeling of being overwhelmed, but there is light peering out from the darkness. Ooh, and bone saws.

Yes, bone saws! They’re cool.

Does this mean Ortho is in my future, who knows? Maybe.

Everyone in my class that I’ve met thus far is pretty decent. Most are willing to lend a hand or ear so you can bounce terms, parts, or planes at them. I think we’re all muddling through as we begin to learn and memorize hundreds of foramina, vessels, muscles, bones, sinuses, etc. We’re all in the same boat, so why not be nice to each other?!

As far as Philly goes…I’m still working on that one.

It’s the only place I’ve been where the speed signs say “15” and people drive, literally, “50,” on winding, snaking roads no less! And they make up their own lanes as they go. It’s an adventure!

As for me, I haven’t ventured out into the city much yet. Somewhat due to time constraints, also due to the fact I’m alone and don’t know the area at all. I did manage to find a gas station close to the pad, and an A+, top notch grocer.

My only major downfall came this weekend when I was overcome by this strangely, uncomfortable…agitation.

It was an odd feeling for sure..Mildly likely being frisky, but not quite. I began tearing up without even realizing why…then it hit me. I was lonely, starving for affection. In short, I NEEDED a HUG! Sounds simple enough, right?! Wrong.

I’m currently living alone. Despite being in a building supposedly populated, I’ve only just met one neighbor. He’s a bit intimidating.

And those at school…well, we’re still doing the little dance.

No one knows each other quite well enough yet to have built up the kind of intimacy where hugs are part of the protocol. We’re still in the phase when you bump into someone you’re almost overly apologetic. I do suspect this will change, especially since at some point we’ll be doing breast exams and femoral pulses on each other. So I've heard. But, that’s Fall term.

I’m hopeful though, at least. I mean if someone can get through trying to feel me up, I do hope they can hug me afterward!? Otherwise, it’s going to be a long 14 months!