Things, life, school, etc got the best of my attention for the last several months.
Then boom...October.
Up 'til now I had always liked October as a month, I mean Halloween candy, pretty Fall colors, a chill in the air, hay rides...It was all good. But that changed this year.
I was working at my rotation when an off handed remark to my preceptor prompted her to send me all the way home to "make babies" with my partner. So to home I went. We had a blast for the first 48 hours or so. Went to the park where we got engaged, bought ice cream, hung out with my parents. Then that dreaded phone call came.
My partner's baby brother was MURDERED! Yes, murdered.
I still can't f*&king believe it. People like me see some weird shit once in awhile but family members don't get murdered. It's too Twilight Zone.
Suffice it to say, life has not been the same since.
I cannot put into words the type of pain this is for me. It is so unjust, confounding, and truly unwarranted! LK, my baby bro-in-law was one of the most genuinely caring, pleasant, open-minded, all-loving, talented, unique individuals I ever had the pleasure to know. He was a great person all around.
And yet I find myself feeling guilty. I wasn't one of the siblings who grew up with him, although I did know him for the better part of a decade. I sort of feel like I don't have a right to be so strongly affected by this tragedy. My partner grieves much more silently than I, and that makes me wonder too if I am somehow overstepping my bounds.
Alas, I do feel pain. And as with any loss...people come out of the woodwork who knew him. And you hear things, learn more, and still he is remembered by so many as such a great, young person. It truly is a tragedy.
Love you Leo, you will be missed! xoxo
